"...i'm swimming in a sea of faces, trying to float my way to you. cos you're lost in a room where everybody wants you..."

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- i am a person of drama and kababawans.
not my finest quality,
but yes. that's how i am.
- more often than not,
i contradict myself.
- i am in every way pesky.
- crying is my indulgence.
- trivialities are my thing.
- i have sadistic tendencies.
- i am three parts neurotic
- and yes, by now i'm sure
you're asking yourself
how you even ended up here.
...there's no getting out. :)


"you say the word
you know i will find you
or if you need some time i don't mind
i don't hold on to the tail of your kite
i'm not like the girls that you've known
but i believe i'm worth comin' home to
kiss away the night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies

so go on and fly then, boy."

-tori amos





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"this is our fate. you are a waterfall, and i, a stream. you will forever flow through me, but i shall never contain you. and you shall never wash me away."

the fun-ness in my life:
~ meet God here ~
~ loving john mayer ~
~ coolest band ever ~
~ it's all about being a woman ~
~ ultimate chicness ~

much has been said
said you never leave
why’d it have to be
harder than it had to be
don’t you throw blame
you were a part of this
wasn’t suppose to end
with us just walking away
so many times we tried
holding on to the pain
but in my baby’s eyes
i see my shame
asking why you had to leave
wasn’t i strong enough to make you see
that the biggest part of this
it’s not about you and me
but just be wrong if we held on
maybe tomorrow we’ll find
a taste for the old days hard lessons
we’ve left behind
this mirrors an open door
i can barely stand to see myself
i don’t know what to do anymore
i’m crying out for help
much has been said
will i never learn
keeping my fingers crossed
praying for my luck to turn
but i can’t complain
i’m living it easy
job’s keeping me busy
going crazy
can’t describe the way it felt
when you left said your goodbyes
it just seems crazy for me to think
that i’ll find love a second time
but we all know
how it all wraps up in the end
what am i leaving behind
sweet how we see the big picture
when your life’s not on the line
i know the way out
but do you see what i see
a tortured life
always second guessing the bookie
put money on the table
thought that was all i had to do
never came home
never said a word to you
no one ever said it was going to be easy…
easy start over again
this time
let’s do it right
start over again
this time
let’s keep the fires burning

"much has been said"
-bamboo



look who's getting famous:

as of january 2005




Thursday, January 26, 2006
more trivialities

Cheese Pizza
Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

haha. not bad for my first entry in such a long time, right? pasensha na. i'm sure by now, you're already aware of my fixation on kababawans. =)

2006. ang saya. for some people, it's wala lang. nothing new, something that's just gonna pass by, like all the other years. for other people, it's a fresh start. to make things right, to undo what's still undoable, to put in order whats left of what they have. but for me, this year takes on a different meaning. why?

...because i have decided that whatever happens, whatever setback, hang-ups, or shitty crap life throws at me, whatever bad-ass scores i get in school, whichever person would piss me off or take lame-based cracks at me, no matter how frustrated life can get, or regardless of how many times i get hurt, i would have a rocking year. simply because i choose to.

i'm through with the drama, and i've had enough of the ka-chorvahans. so now, it's all about getting out there, and doing MY thing. i've thrown away my excess baggage, and i'm ready for the time of my life.

sabi nga ng ever-reliable quiz above, i'm not impressed with novelty. i just indulge in trivialities.


:: applejoy @ 06:04 pm ::
 (1)crunchy bites  



Friday, December 16, 2005
when it shows

LISTEN
-stonefree

Close the door
I feel a breeze hold me please
I hate to be alone
It's a cold night, turn off the light
Come take my hand and…

Listen
to these things I have to say
please understand
she left me, all alone again

Clear the room
Of every memory
I don't want that song back on
It's an endless maze
Take away this haze
Please mend my heart and…

Listen
to these things I have to say
please understand
she left me, all alone again

Listen
to these things I have to say
please understand
she left me, all alone again

Turn away
Don't want you to see me cry
I just want things the way they were
It's so hard to say goodbye
Wipe my tears and…

Listen
to these things I have to say
please understand
she left me, all alone again

This I ask of you
Please stay with me
Until she comes back
Until she comes
Until she comes
Until she comes back


question of the day:

how do you deal if you're the person who's left behind, waiting for something that's probably not even gonna happen?

:: applejoy @ 05:07 pm ::
 bite in?  



Tuesday, November 22, 2005
quoting

"love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.  if you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. wrap it carefully with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglments. lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. but in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. to love is to be vulnerable." 
- C.S. Lewis

significance is? =)



:: applejoy @ 11:52 am ::
 bite in?  



Wednesday, November 09, 2005
bowing down

it can only go so far. sooner or later it all has to end. but what do you do when you're just about getting there? do you wish to have it over and done with, or would you kill to go back to the beginning?

the novelty has worn off. and now it feels so much like an obligation that i need to deal with.

i have to admit, i probably would not have come to terms with this, if not for something a certain someone had said that definitely tipped the balance. i could always say that i'm not affected, but it doesn't erase the fact that it made me think things over.

but now, all the thinking is done, and i'm still here. still doing my thing. and although i momentarily succumb to defeat, i do know how to bow down gracefully. and soon enough, it'll be a thing of the past, like most of the things in life are, that i'd learn to shrug off and laugh about.

but more importantly, i've learned that the stuff that makes me me, it's all God-given. people may or may not like it, but i do. and that's all that really counts.

revising ashlee simpson's statement on her snl lip-synch disaster, let me just say...

"I've had to learn that my voice is the most important one. Otherwise, I'll drown in what everyone else says about me."

:: applejoy @ 05:30 pm ::
 bite in?  



Sunday, October 23, 2005
total disillusionment

another thing i've been seriously looking forward to during my finals week is this big "world's longest buffet" thing, which was held at eastwood tonight. they boasted of a 350 meter buffet table, 400 different dishes to be catered by 36 restaurants,plus the participation of 10 international cuisines. what person in his right mind wouldn't be excited by that? imagine having to study for carbohydrate metabolism, and porphyrins while salivating over the possibility of a major pigout party. di madali yun a.

looking back, there's only one way to describe the whole event.

what a big disappointment.

grabe. sayang talaga. it was such a great concept, and it easily would've been one of those events that you enjoy so much, that you'd look forward to it year after year, like octoberfest, or trick-or-treating. but no, it was one of the most unbelievably unorganized events that i had been to. it was craaazy. not only did you have to fight off 4000 people for limited servings of pesto and potato croquets, you also have to wait for an hour for the caterers to replenish their food stock. not to mention the fact that they were selling water in plastic cups and canned sodas at exorbitant prices (ipagbenta ba ang isang baso ng tubig at 38 pesos?!? nasan tayo, nasa Kumkwatchi kung saan novelty ang drinking water?). 

i'm not just ranting for the heck of it. it just sucks being promised something that's not even half of what it really is. but the thing that pissed me and my friends the most is that the organizers weren't even considerate enough to actually acknowledge the people's complaints. and believe me there were plenty. people were already threatening to sue them, or write letters to their head office for the huge inconvenience, and they didn't even have the balls to grab the mic from the sucky performers, and utter even  the slightest and most pathetic kind of apology. plus most of them were already leaving after the first serving of food had diminished.  naman, konting etiquette man lang. you don't leave your clientele hanging, especially after you've assured them that there's more to come.

nakakapanghinayang lang, kase sobrang bigtime happening pa man din 'to. it would've been a major highlight of Philippine events for this year, only if the organizers were able to deliver. but then, maybe a bit more regulation, thorough planning, and careful thinking over would've been too much to ask for an event that catered 4000 people. maybe they weren't ready for that much people to arrive, or that they simply lost control of the food stock. but then again, if you can call yourself a capable organizer, you would've anticipated that.

riding home from that joke of a buffet, my cousin was thinking out loud, " siguro kung me terorista lang dun kanina, nilagyan nia na ng poison lahat ng pagkain dun. tapos patay tayong lahat." maybe that's what we should've done. we should've hired someone to put baygon in the pasta. then we offer it to the organizers as a sign of thanks.

thinking out loud lang rin...

so what's the next best thing to do pag bad trip ka sa isang buffet?

    
mag-picture! what else?!?


...uuy, friends-friendsan... =)


:: applejoy @ 08:29 pm ::
 bite in?  

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