"...i'm swimming in a sea of faces, trying to float my way to you. cos you're lost in a room where everybody wants you..."

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- i am a person of drama and kababawans.
not my finest quality,
but yes. that's how i am.
- more often than not,
i contradict myself.
- i am in every way pesky.
- crying is my indulgence.
- trivialities are my thing.
- i have sadistic tendencies.
- i am three parts neurotic
- and yes, by now i'm sure
you're asking yourself
how you even ended up here.
...there's no getting out. :)


"you say the word
you know i will find you
or if you need some time i don't mind
i don't hold on to the tail of your kite
i'm not like the girls that you've known
but i believe i'm worth comin' home to
kiss away the night
this girl only sleeps with butterflies

so go on and fly then, boy."

-tori amos





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"this is our fate. you are a waterfall, and i, a stream. you will forever flow through me, but i shall never contain you. and you shall never wash me away."

the fun-ness in my life:
~ meet God here ~
~ loving john mayer ~
~ coolest band ever ~
~ it's all about being a woman ~
~ ultimate chicness ~

much has been said
said you never leave
why’d it have to be
harder than it had to be
don’t you throw blame
you were a part of this
wasn’t suppose to end
with us just walking away
so many times we tried
holding on to the pain
but in my baby’s eyes
i see my shame
asking why you had to leave
wasn’t i strong enough to make you see
that the biggest part of this
it’s not about you and me
but just be wrong if we held on
maybe tomorrow we’ll find
a taste for the old days hard lessons
we’ve left behind
this mirrors an open door
i can barely stand to see myself
i don’t know what to do anymore
i’m crying out for help
much has been said
will i never learn
keeping my fingers crossed
praying for my luck to turn
but i can’t complain
i’m living it easy
job’s keeping me busy
going crazy
can’t describe the way it felt
when you left said your goodbyes
it just seems crazy for me to think
that i’ll find love a second time
but we all know
how it all wraps up in the end
what am i leaving behind
sweet how we see the big picture
when your life’s not on the line
i know the way out
but do you see what i see
a tortured life
always second guessing the bookie
put money on the table
thought that was all i had to do
never came home
never said a word to you
no one ever said it was going to be easy…
easy start over again
this time
let’s do it right
start over again
this time
let’s keep the fires burning

"much has been said"
-bamboo



look who's getting famous:

as of january 2005




Monday, April 03, 2006
floating on cycles

CLOSING CYCLES
Paolo Coelho

"One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
 
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. 

 
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. 

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. 
 
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. 
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person, nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. 
 
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.  Stop being who you were, and change into who you are."

..my life is constantly being caressed by winds of change. and i float along..


:: applejoy @ 02:31 am ::
 

 

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