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not my finest quality, but yes. that's how i am. - more often than not, i contradict myself. - i am in every way pesky. - crying is my indulgence. - trivialities are my thing. - i have sadistic tendencies. - i am three parts neurotic - and yes, by now i'm sure you're asking yourself how you even ended up here. ...there's no getting out. :)  you know i will find you or if you need some time i don't mind i don't hold on to the tail of your kite i'm not like the girls that you've known but i believe i'm worth comin' home to kiss away the night this girl only sleeps with butterflies so go on and fly then, boy." -tori amos  Calendar
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 ~ meet God here ~ ~ loving john mayer ~ ~ coolest band ever ~ ~ it's all about being a woman ~ ~ ultimate chicness ~ said you never leave why’d it have to be harder than it had to be don’t you throw blame you were a part of this wasn’t suppose to end with us just walking away so many times we tried holding on to the pain but in my baby’s eyes i see my shame asking why you had to leave wasn’t i strong enough to make you see that the biggest part of this it’s not about you and me but just be wrong if we held on maybe tomorrow we’ll find a taste for the old days hard lessons we’ve left behind this mirrors an open door i can barely stand to see myself i don’t know what to do anymore i’m crying out for help much has been said will i never learn keeping my fingers crossed praying for my luck to turn but i can’t complain i’m living it easy job’s keeping me busy going crazy can’t describe the way it felt when you left said your goodbyes it just seems crazy for me to think that i’ll find love a second time but we all know how it all wraps up in the end what am i leaving behind sweet how we see the big picture when your life’s not on the line i know the way out but do you see what i see a tortured life always second guessing the bookie put money on the table thought that was all i had to do never came home never said a word to you no one ever said it was going to be easy… easy start over again this time let’s do it right start over again this time let’s keep the fires burning "much has been said" |
Monday, April 03, 2006
floating on cycles CLOSING CYCLES Paolo Coelho "One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But
such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your
parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your
sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves,
getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a
standstill. None
of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even
when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed
will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons
that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night
relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least
intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let
them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it
maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to
orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person, nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are." ..my life is constantly being caressed by winds of change. and i float along.. :: applejoy @ 02:31 am :: Â Â
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